Me: *playing Tomb Raider*

Grandmother who is visiting for the weekend: Mind if I sit with you?

Me: *squirming slightly because there is gore and swearing in this game and my grandmother is a sweet old lady: Um, if you want to.

Grandmother: *sits* Thank you, dear.

Me: *continuing to play for about five minutes*

Grandmother:

Grandmother:

Grandmother: LOOK OUT THERE ARE THREE COMING DOWN THE HILL

Grandmother: THAT WAS POINT BLANK HOW ARE THEY ALIVE

Grandmother: OOOHH YOU MADE THAT EXPLODE

Grandmother: STOP KILLING MY GRANDDAUGHTER

Grandmother: KILL THEM KILL THEM ALL

Grandmother: OHHHHH YOU SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD OHHHHHHHHH

Grandmother: RUN RUN RUN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE RUN

Grandmother: OKAY NOW KILL THEM ALL

Me: *slowly turns to look at her* Grandma

Grandmother: *sweet smile* Hmm?

Me: Grandma oh my god

Grandmother: *more smiling* Well, hurry up and kill everyone else, I want to see you save this Sam person.

Me:

Me:

Grandmother: Kill them.

I have so much stuff to do and no fucking money. I’ve never been this stressed about money with so much shit to do. I know those are the same things. But that’s the only thing going through my mind right now.

So much shit to do.
But I’m broke as fuck.

fuck